15 ways to annoy your parents

1. Moo whenever they say your name
2. Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house
3. Try to dive into the floor
4. At everything they say, yell dramatically IT’S A LIE I TELL YOU IT’S A LIE
5. Have 20 imaginary friends and talk to them constantly
6. Try to snorkel in the fish tank
7. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion
8. Demand your own area code
9. Every time you go to the toilet, shout “I’ve finishheeeeeeeddddd!”
10. Run into their bedroom at 4am every morning, squealing like a pig
11. Answer anything they say they have done with “I bet you did”
12. When there is a power cut, ask “what the hell have you done this time?”
13. Hide a raw chicken leg in their bed and say you were playing dogs
14. When you go to the supermarket, roll around on the floor laughing hysterically
15. Follow them around all day and sleep on top of them at night

Some funny [true life] stories..

My nan used to be a home help, where she would take care of the elderly in their homes. She once went to the house of an old lady, who greeted her by screaming “FEEL MY BONES!! I HAVE TOO MANY!”

Me and my friends were playing pictionary, and I drew a stick man running away from a huge bear, someone guessed “Shallow Hall” [you will only get that if you’ve seen the film.]

We were once playing charades, and my granddad was trying to act out to us the name of a film. After one of his actions, my Nan guessed “Monster” my granddad did the “smaller” signal, so my nan shortened the word to “monst” hahahah

My Nan told my granddad that she was thinking of buying some blow up beds for when guests come round to stay. My granddad answered with “Blow up beds? Will dynamite do it?”

My nan spent ages looking for her serving spoon, which apparently is noticeably larger than normal spoons. She searched everywhere and was really confused about how it could of just disapeared. She kept asking me if I’d seen it and I just laughed and said no why would I want to steal a spoon. A few days later, I was cleaning my bedroom and had to take a few snack wrappers and tubes that I’d forgotten about and left sitting on my window seal. It turned out I had been using the spoon to eat ice cream the whole time HAHAH

And a funny joke..

A northern man was walking naked down the street, and on his back he was carrying a woman.
A boy asked him “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
He replied “I’m going to a fancy dress party. I’m a tortoise.”
The boy said “Whose that woman on your back?”
The man replied “That’s Michelle!” [Me shell] hahahah

I hope you liked hehe

<3

A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad.’ With the
worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with
trembling hands.

‘Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I
had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Mum and you.

I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing’s,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older
than I am.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we
will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t, really hurt
anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other
people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday,
I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many
grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school
report that’s on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home!